|
|
but it cant be helped since i am ugly.
| | |
| i have not signed in for almost a year. the entire interface is now different.
and as we sit and ponder what is different since the last time i blogged, there is actually no need to ponder, or even to sit down. because the answer is simply a nothing. surely one can shout this one word without taking the effort to sit down lol.
work is work. in every places, with my kind of evil horrid temperament, there are bound to be irritants that i cannot stand. but at the end of the day while they make my hair stands and cry out at the unjust that exists on earth (lol who gives a damn), they are actually quite harmless. that is putting it nicely. in other (meaner) words, they are not worth the effort to be too bothered over.
do i sound a tad (or more that a tad) arrogant and condescending.
i will be free after this sunday. looking so forward to it because now every minute i spent not staring at my notes, guilt keeps nagging at me. after sunday im going to watch 8 million dramas, read 10 million books and memorise the lyrics to 1 zillion cantonese songs. cool huh.
and im going stuff myself with a gazizizzibiliion tons of junk food. lol.
looking forward to it!
| | |
| i tried to get myself into new artistes, yet they just do not satisfy me as much as what i have on my t10 (and adored so much). so out of frustration, i re-upped the old stuff to my t10 and bobbed my head along to these "old friends".
each song reminds me of a different stage in my life.
of attempting to convince myself to just live a simple life and be happy.
yes it is true that if you live simple, you have lower expectations and those are easily satisfied. and i do not deny that i do indeed have very simple pleasures. easily satisfied. but satisfaction and contentment is not the same as being happy.
if i just live a simple life, and pass away of old age (hopefully), will i look back and regret on all the "what-ifs?"
yes, i will. but on attempting to leap on the "what-ifs", will i just hurt myself more?
| | |
| i fear, because i am a horrible person. and im scared of the horrible person that i am because it makes me hate myself. but at the same time i cannot get rid of these evil thoughts in me. as hard as i tried, i just cant seem to outran them.
and i really wish to break out of this cycle. and i do, i really do get my ass moving to try and make things work. but some things are ultimately beyond my control, and many times everything just come back to bite you in the ass. and i wonder, maybe it is just too much, way beyond my ability to seek something different. just stay put and be quiet. and there will never be expectations and disappointments because there is no futile attempts to speak of.
| | |
|
